In the last two weeks my nice settled world has turned into a puddle of green protoplasm splattered across my window. Not sure why the protoplasm is green. Just feels that way!
Everything was travelling along nicely, the next three years at least clear before me, and which personally brought about a sense of contentment.
In a matter of just days this has all been changed and now even next month is blurry to say the least. And truly I can say blurry is the last thing I wanted, needed, dreamed of…well, you get it.
It is these times I feel challenged more than ever to turn thought and theory into true living practice. To ‘walk the talk’ and as a consequence know truth.
Over the past few months of blogging life I have deeply enjoyed interacting with other bloggers regarding issues dear to my heart. Theology, philosophy, the meaning we give our lives.
I truly don’t think anything excites me more than hearing others ideas in areas inspiring to me, comparing and contrasting them to my own, coming across new insights, discarding those who’ve had their day.
And then…the protoplasm. A side swipe from the left that throws all ones contemplation into stark organic reality.
Almost as if the universe is saying …
okay so you’ve had time to think, done the talking. Now let’s see if all this really holds water in this external life…
And suddenly all that feels comfortable is turned asunder.
But I can’t say I haven’t asked for it :).
I have noticed the pattern of how my quest for Understanding goes.
A question forms…I read…I ponder…I make tentative conclusions trying to use my full psyche (from the Greek term that was inclusive of mind/personality/soul and I would add body and that I find preferable to the terms mind or consciousness that have shrunk with rationalism).
Then others appear or I seek them out, who are thinking along similar lines even if their conclusions oppose my own for all add through clarification
But the ultimate test of ‘truth’ in all pondering, from my own to the greats and not so greats of theology, philosophy, mythology, anthropology and sciences always ends up, at least for me, with does this apply to the here and now?
Does it improve and nurture my life and if I share it with others will it improve and nurture theirs? Or does it end up as words on paper/screen in the not so great world of nonsense, mental wanking or at the very least for later maybe (such as communism)?
For indeed it seems if philosophy, theology, psychology is to be of any purpose then they must translate to the real world and at the very least show potential for positive expansion ( as opposed to being used in manipulations such as religion/power or psychology/advertising).
So how do all the latest contemplations apply to the here and now?
Well, my personal protoplasm involves putting my fourteen year old son’s needs, that have suddenly become stark, before my own need of settled home and hearth. This is after three years of external emotional/physical tornadoes in our lives outside of the bounds of my control. And bluntly…I’m getting too old for this crap! 🙂
Yet as I read people’s conversations about emotional mental life; about the existence or no of god; about defining mind and consciousness…
…there sits in me a growing awareness, slow but steady over the past ten years or so, that there truly is a…oh blimey… energy/consciousness?…
…that is available to us and, with the right intent, can be accessed. Not a god that intervenes or judges…not a ‘secret’ that can make anyone a millionaire.
I don’t know yet what exactly it is nor exactly how it works (that’s the purpose of writing the Are you There God ? (https://leesis.wordpress.com/2010/07/25/are-you-there-god/) series for my godson) but it goes something like…
…we can plug into this source, like we do with electricity but in addition, our intentions behind our seeking will affect the outcomes as will our focus or to put it the old way our faith…
…and this intention is not about the old concept of right or wrong, but I think rather about whether our intentions are in harmony with life or not.
…and it relates to faith in a way I feel unable to truly articulate yet nor this sources own consciousness which I think is internal and external to us all.
Sometime ago I committed to testing all this as a particularly intense learning curve showed me with no doubt that despite the very best efforts to the contrary things don’t always go the way you want.
Now retrospect usually shows there is reason for that and that indeed things went exactly the way they should have.
Yet it is habit for us when things go belly up to have some sort of emotional splat about it…ie anxiety, doubts, tears, anger, financial worries etc, depending on the intensity of that which you can’t control. And I cannot lie; I’m feeling somewhat splatty at the moment.
But…if I believe all above to be true then…it must apply externally. As such to feel anxiety, doubt, crossness, is to mistrust, lack faith in, show doubt to this source.
And if the quantum discovery of the observed responding to the observer applies to this source and the macroscopic world then any of my expectations if powered by emotion will find reality.
So I’m gunna tell the negatives to take a hike, be clear on my intentions, trust there may just be…even a part of me…that knows what’s going on and knows it’ll all be good…and put my own best foot forward.
Let’s see if mountains move! :). I’ll keep ya updated.