I Always Wanted a Ferret????????

His name is Nibbles. He arrived via the following;

 “Hallo?”

 “Hi Leesa it’s Sandy. Hey you said you always wanted a ferret. I’ve got one but you have to take it now.”

 Yes, I have always said I wanted a ferret. But it is significant that by forty-seven I still hadn’t got one! I’ve had dogs constantly, cats, rabbits, rats and a kid. But no ferret!

 I’ve also randomly said; “I’ve always wanted a chimp” after seeing some Clit Eastwood movie. But I don’t really truly want one you see? But Sandy was still on the phone.

 I stuttered and stumbled about being broke and not having the right stuff which she ignored completely but instead informed me the kids of the household she was visiting had killed its brother with rough handling.

 @#*&%$*@!!!

 Sooo…his name is Nibbles and he has joined the family of me, Mr 14 and the psychotic-shadow-chasing-gentle-happy dog Sam.

 Well! The puppy stage of a dog is trying and there are a few weeks there of night toilet training that can be annoying. The kitten stage of a cat is more exhausting because the cat is less interested in pleasing you and hence the process lasts longer.

 The ferret? Well he has had me stating rather too loudly, with complete passion and honesty;

 “That’s it. IT I SAY. This creature is out of here. OUT. He’s evil, a devil possessed”.

 He’s smarter than me damn it! He’s trashing the house keeping me awake all night refusing to be toilet trained destroying my plants ignoring my rules….”

 And he knows you know. He does! And the more I insist he doesn’t do stuff, the more he insists he does and the more he insists….well you get it! And he hissed at me. Hissed I say! Cat attitude in there.

 He tips over every single cuppa left on a table for he is fond of both hot Milo and tea!

 He grabs every pouch of my tobacco he can get and takes off madly, often succeeding to spread it beautifully throughout the house before I catch him.

 What’s that? Cage you say. Ha! Ha I say!

 So I thought once upon a time. Did you know he can open doors? Wire (can’t use anything else but wire) the doors you say? Sure. Nibs just detached the cage from its base and escaped.

 Oh and I didn’t enter this relationship completely uneducated. I looked up his species on the internet. Here is the only line I found to be absolutely true;

 Remember when they accidentally bite you too hard remember they really could have crushed your bones in a single breath so don’t beat em up too much!

 Fortunately there’s this other side that means that although I repeat this threat, and loudly, several times a day actually, I never followed through.  

 I chucked the cage and he stopped biting just a little too hard. In the morning he jumps in bed with me after I wave my son off to school and as I write, he sleeps cuddled beside me.

 He has a teddy. A monkey at least three times as long as him. He zooms around the house like a crazy thing with monkey in his mouth causing eruptions of mirth from my son and me even in the middle of our hormonal (him or I) moments.

  I truly don’t know how to explain it. He is the most exasperating creature I’ve ever had to deal with (though Mr 14 is competing with him for honours currently). On the other hand he is smart as, independently spirited, hilarious and loving when he’s not devil incarnate.

 And no…I don’t really want a chimp!

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6 thoughts on “I Always Wanted a Ferret????????

  1. *GASP* I want a ferret too!! Do you have to proof your house; can they escape through little cracks; do they chew on electrical wires?

    I considered rats but didn’t go for it for these reasons.

    • he chewed wires till I gave him a teddy bear. Oh lordy though nothing is safe…house plants, cuppa’s, smokes… He is learning but my oh my is all I can say! We’ve had pet rats and they are so much easier! If I wasn’t such a soft touch with critters….grrrr 🙂

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