I Only Have One Moral

Moral, from the Latin moralis “proper behavior of a person in society” (http://www.etymonline.com)

 I only have one moral. I teach my son only one moral. If I were the ruler of the very planet I would demand only one moral.

 This moral does not relate to sex. Nor drinking, gambling, swearing or….all that other stuff people like to go on about. Yet again, it relates to them all.

 It is the one moral I wish others would adopt. I mean really adopt.

 Not pay lip service too, not pretend about; but actually live. I don’t mean we won’t fail, regularly, because we will, but failing and trying again is the road to success.

 This moral could include all religious faiths. This moral could include all nationalities. This moral could include all classes of people.

 If we all grasped this simple moral by the horns and made it ours from inside out; oh my how things would change!

 If every time we were “in society” (which let me point out does not only include outside the family home but inside as well when the door is closed), we acted out this moral the decrease in conflict would be immense I am positive.

 And so far I have yet to find a person who doesn’t agree this would be a great moral to live by.

 There’s been great academic papers and books written on morals and ethics in all aspects of human life. And yet, this one simple moral applies to anything and everything we humans may come across.  Funny how we like to complicate things. I wonder if its avoidance to enact simple truths that leads to such over intellectualization?

 Oh the moral? You know it. Most of us…dare I say…all of us…have heard it. Even agreed with it.

 No, the worlds not perfect.

 But imagine if we reminded ourselves every morning upon waking to make the effort to simply;

 ‘treat others the way we wish to be treated’.

Yep that’s it. The only one.  Join me won’t you?

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11 thoughts on “I Only Have One Moral

  1. No Leesa, sorry, I don’t agree. I could never let a peadophile live and be as he wants to, for example. Or a murderer, a torturer, a slayer. Or a person who enjoys eating live baby monkey’s brains. No. I definitely do not agree. There are some things that need to be treated exceptionally, mainly bad things, good things rarely get treated exceptionally anyway. Not to mention alot of minor issues arising. Greed for example the simplest one of them. There is conflict of interests even in the smallest of human interactions that do not allow this seemingly innocent and altruistic ideal of yours to exist. And I also believe that we have to fight for what we want, not just get handed it because we demand it. So what if I say I need a raise for example if I haven’t done anything to prove I’m worth it. So what if gay people claim they have rights, if they don’t fight to prove the point against their opposition? (btw i’m pro-gay, not against). Same is with this. I will not treat people the way they wish to be treated unless they prove to me they are worth it. Else I will treat them according to conscience. And to be honest with you, that’s what I’d expect from others to do as well, let me prove my worth and then treat me accordingly. Call it a boundaries issue.

    • I appreciate your thoughts. If you don’t mind I’ll just clarify in response.

      To treat others the way you wish does not equate with letting people break the law.

      It means that

      a) I won’t break the law because I recognize it exists for us to be safe in society. It means
      b) I will ask myself how will this make the other person feel before I act.

      And please note my emphasis is never on looking ‘out’ on what ‘others’ do but looking at ourselves and how we can improve. Hopefully neither of us are eating monkey brains :)!

      “There is conflict of interests even in the smallest of human interactions that do not allow this seemingly innocent and altruistic ideal of yours to exist. ”

      What I am suggesting is that as adults, i.e. you and me, we need to step up and recognize that that conflict you refer to can be dealt with maturely!

      Name calling, personal insults, violence…frankly, in 2010 we need to grow up and take some responsibility. It is time. From the personal level to the global level treating others the way we wish to be treated is a great start.

      Innocent? :). I love it! It’s the first time anyone’s used it in regard to me :).

      Altruistic? Hardly! Come around me and try to behave uncivilised. It was a hard lesson but I assure you I treat myself with the same respect I treat others.

      But I won’t scream, I won’t be violent and I won’t say things to demean your personhood. What you do is your responsibility (and the police) but I also will not allow you to trample on my rights. Respectfully, you’re missing the point.

      Everyday ‘I me myself’ try to treat others with respect because that’s what I want. For example I don’t scream at my kid…or my lover…or my friend because being screamed at feels like crap even though sometimes I too want to rage like a mad woman. I won’t burn someone’s religous book because I understand it brings comfort etc etc…

      And fighting for rights? Absolutely. But I would change the word ‘fighting’ simply because it immediately denotes violence.

      Again, stepping up and treating others respectfully means I will demand my rights using all the skills I can gather, whilst still treating others respectfully.

      “I will not treat people the way they wish to be treated unless they prove to me they are worth it”

      I didn’t say treat them the way they wish to be treated I said treat them the way You wish to be treated. As far as worth I guess a ideological difference. For me every human being, including myself, deserves because they ‘are’. Simple as that.

      As a therapist if I didn’t believe in the inherent goodness of every human being despite their outward behaviour, i.e. equal to that little baby we held in our arms when he was born (knowing you too have a son) then…well…I wouldn’t be a good therapist would I 🙂

      I have been accused if idealism many times.

      My response is…but what if we tried?

      Just a little bit?
      Just maybe 1%?
      Just you and me?

      Can we not aim higher than where we are? …Cheers… Leesa

  2. Yes, from that point of view I agree with you completely. If what you say is about respect and tolerance, yes I agree. Still, we are all humans, and sometimes perhaps the lack of respect and tolerance and consideration, in the rarest of occassions, might denote only that.

    Example: I went out for a cuppa with a friend I met through a single mothers group, Friday after work. She told me that she was in a very sticky situation with all her friends, because she gave them a good telling about how they treat her, her current psychological and mental and emotional sistuation and how much more different it is from theirs (happily married and so forth). I understand that, to a degree. I know from personal experience that sometimes, when push comes to shove, you really really NEED to give them hell, verbally anyway, to let all the bottled things out. I don’t do that, and it’s caused many of my most serious health issues, I really wish I could. So, maybe there’s an exception to what you suggest? I don’t know.

    All I know is that treating others the way I would like to be treated hasn’t gained me anything at all, throughout all my 34 years of life, but I won’t change, because it’s contrary to my character. I agree, I just don’t think it’s such a good thing to actually do. I’ve very often wished I was the sort of person who could guiltlessly step on other people and use them to forward my ends, how much happier I would be with myself, how much more guiltless and troubled and achieved. I don’t know. Are you sure you (and me) are correct in this evaluation?

  3. ‘Love everyone as oneself.’

    I think that’s the One Moral from which others derive. It is strong and real because it derives naturally from a metaphysical truth, which is that at the root of being there is no distinction between ‘self’ and ‘other’ except an illusory mental distinction. On Earth, only humans have the perspective to understand this – egotism is a kind of necessary transition-phase.

    1) Infant-consciousness: no distinction between self and world
    2) Person-consciousness: ‘I AM’ (and ‘you’ are somewhere ‘over there’)
    3) Love/wisdom-consciousness: ‘I AM’ includes all, and ego-selves, including the one ‘I’ see ‘the world’ through, are just facets of the totality and not independent ‘centres’ of consciousness

    It is impossible for most people to feel loving equinamity in practice, so they instead choose a credo that can be intellectualised. ‘Do unto others’ can easily become a technical exercise that gets bogged down in debate; ‘Love others as oneself’ expresses the spirit and reason of ‘do unto others’.

    If you see the universe as full of opposed, isolated, even hostile egoes, and you do not believe that love can bridge this gap between self and other, then your logical credo is not ‘do unto others’ but ‘live and let die’. If we are truly separate then life really is nothing but conflict, predation. If we are one, then life is a kind of universal blossoming in which ‘misfortune’ and ‘tragedy’ are nothing real, just brain-states.

    • absolutely! And superbly written I must say :). I confess to avoiding the word ‘love’ though it is spot on because I wanted the sense of ‘action’.

      We have had the concept of loving one another, of our unity therefore ‘hurting outward = hurting inward’ for a long time and yet these concepts seem things to talk of rather than act on; and to adjust if inconvinient ie…the adjustment of Jesus’ words to justify violence, the parent that justifies their intimidation toward their child. the lover who justifies their violence against their partner, the driver who justifies their road rage, the religous who justify thier intolerance and so on.

      We need to DO. These words, these concepts must become verbs. And the only way for this to occure is that we each as individuals take action on living this way…today…when that beep beep pisses us off….
      cheers…Leesa

  4. Pingback: “You’re Just Idealistic” « Leesis Ponders

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