An Open Mind, An Open Heart and a Leashed Ego

 “When I stop becoming, that’s when I worry.”  Stephen Dunn

   An open mind means, when another speaks you don’t think only of your arguments; desperately waiting for the other to stop so you can shoot them down. If you are doing that you are not hearing.

 An open mind means listening carefully so you are sure you have heard. It means concentrating on what the others saying, checking that which you feel unclear about and it includes being open to changing your views. Not you have to change your views. Not you must change your views. Simply that you might.

 And my dearest friend R…when ya think you know it all (the quoting of info with no heart) but its bringing you no joy, reassess hun. It is in the moments when I recognise my ignorance ,despite all the learning, that the door opens…and more comes. Has to be room hey!

 An open heart means an awareness of the beauty and rights of the human being standing before you being equal to your own be they a relative or not. On open heart means understanding that outward behaviour does not relate to inner value.

It means recognising that the place one lands in the world largely dictates their religion, politics, outward behaviour and is soft wired into the brain in the first twenty-five years. An open heart recognises this story of conditioning is the story of the person in front of them and the story of their very self. (And no, it doesn’t mean accepting bad behaviour).

A leashed ego?

 Everyone needs ego to function. However if one observes humans long enough it becomes an inescapable fact that the individual ego likes to have tanties when things are not aligned to itself.

So as adults, a leashed ego means emotional maturity. Please get this. We all screw up. We all make mistakes. We all feel rage. We all have moments when we stare at this child whose completely defying us and feel like slapping them down.

 We all have moments when a bad driver makes us think thoughts that sound bloody homicidal.  We all have moments on blog sites where we read something and think…hmm…rude thoughts.

 But these reactions of ours have no place in our behaviour. Lets face it when we let this stuff move from thought to action we are indulging ourselves only. No adult tantrum throwing is ever going to create great outcomes. Never does, never will. 

Emotional maturity equals leashing the knee-jerk reactions to life. It means acting intentionally which requires thought. It means an open mind and an open heart. And mostly it means being responsible for self.

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11 thoughts on “An Open Mind, An Open Heart and a Leashed Ego

  1. ta Jon…glad you liked it
    I have been prolific haven’t I :). I soooo want to be a writer and everything I’ve read says if ya want to be a writer write write write. Hence…. 🙂

  2. Excellent points. And very true.

    Hard to do though; having an open mind. At times, when I have someone who disagrees with my thoughts, it’s hard not to get defensive. I get this terrible urge to explain as thoroughly as possible why I believe something the way I do, so they, at the very least, can’t come away saying I haven’t even thought about my position.

    This, in turn is misconstrued as interjecting arguments down their throats, or being offensive, and do the same to reciprocate.

    The solution of course, is written clearly in your post. And it’s easier to do with some people rather than others. Fast talkers that shoot out 50 things you happen to disagree with to make one stance makes it difficult to address every point they make, understand it well, make a decision as to whether it affects your opinion, and then discuss it without spending to much time on the 50 things. I usually learn a lot with people that “discuss” like this, but it’s frustrating and stressful.

    Plus, I’m just a defensive and argumentative person, which doesn’t help matters.

    But I agree with you. It’s time to grow up… at least a little.

    • Great points and lordy lordy yes it can be hard…our defences, the other persons defences, our need to ‘win’, misinterpretations, egos; all sorts of stuff. I too can be super sensitive which leads to defensiveness and I love a good argument to nut out the ins and outs of another’s view and then they get defensive…and then I do and then….

      But in acknowledging these issues…in keeping them conscious whilst communicating with another allows us to grow. I love your last line. Imagine if we all said individually ‘well yeah I could do with a little growing up’. Awesome!

  3. Pingback: On the Leashed Ego « A Cynical View

  4. An open mind to politicians as religious crackpots
    seems to mean you are ripe for brainwashing /////

    Thus we have the USA / uk / WHOM ABANDONED
    INTERNATIONAL LAW / WHOM THEN MARCHED
    INTO THE MIDDLE EAST // THUS THE ILLEGAL
    INVASION OF NATIONS WHERE HAVING SET UP
    PUPPET GOVTS ////// THUS THE USA / UK / NOW
    HAVING GREAT CONTROL OVER MUCH OF THE
    MIDDLE EAST VAST OIL RESOURCE . PLANNING
    NOW A INVASION OF IRAN SUCH PROPAGENDA
    BY WESTERN MEDIA / THROUGH BBC TV RADIO
    NEWSPAPERS ETC ETC BEING PUT THAT IRAN
    A GREAT THREAT TO DEMOCRACY //FREEDOM
    THUS JUSTIFYING ANOTHER CRUEL INVASION
    OF A NATION / HUNDREDS THOUSANDS MORE
    KILLED MORE /TORTURE /SUFFERING /TEARS.

    We have religious organizations whom have yearly
    turnovers of $billions / where giving false promise
    of entry unto a fictional heaven /// dire situations in
    many cases such religious brainwashing starting
    as young as 3yrs 4yrs 5yrs / by 12yrs the children
    so brainwashed / they incapable of independent
    thought / but totally // dependent on being told wot
    to think / believe / thus be trapped in the clutches
    of religious crackpots, whom be totally halfbaked.

    • “An open mind to politicians as religious crackpots
      seems to mean you are ripe for brainwashing”

      Welcome to Leesis Ponders and thank-you for your contribution. I understand yoour point but may I clarify:

      An open mind does not mean ‘accepting’ what another says or ‘agreeing’ with others. But it absolutely does mean listening to them…hearing them…not jumping to conclusions before they have finished. And I can assure you in many many conversations folk just aint listening.

      Re the politics. Hun don’t you think if Mr Bush had listened harder…had put aside for a minute his own religious beliefs etc (thus opened his mind) and actually ‘heard’ what was being said a very different story might be being told now?
      cheers…Leesa

  5. You have to grow out of adulthood as well:

    The meaning of the word seriousness is in holding the mind in check and not sending it off somewhere, thinking that if one did let it go, it would become confused. At this level there is a tightening up of the mind and not an iota of negligence is allowed.

    This is like a baby sparrow being caught by a cat. To prevent a recurrence, a string is then always tightened around the cat, and it is never let go.

    If my mind is treated like a tied-up cat, it will not be free and will likely not be able to function as it should. If the cat is well-trained, the string is untied, and it is allowed to go wherever it pleases. Then, even if the two are together, the cat will not seize the sparrow. Acting along these lines is the meaning of the phrase “engendering the mind with no place for it to abide.”

    From:

    http://www.american-buddha.com/unfettered.myster.htm

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