Thoughts won’t stand still and yet underneath…a strange silence.
My mind has had new information served it
And it doesn’t know what to do.
I have been on the journey of self-knowledge for a long time now and as such…
Stand as both the observer and the observed.
I observe a part of me wanting to run
wanting to rationalize
wanting to label
wanting to get drunk
wanting to give up
wanting to help
wanting a magic wand
wanting a time travelling machine…
I know what I must do is just sit sit sit.
Each new experience that comes to us be it good or bad
Must be integrated with all else before we can move ahead in confidence
The more powerful the experience, good or bad, the longer the integration time
And until that time there exists an eerie silence…an uncomfortable silence…a disruptive silence and oddly, a silence that exists profoundly under the constant chatter of the reptilian mind.
A silence that disturbs that part of us that wants anything and everything neatly boxed, neatly labeled so we feel in control.
And part of our minds tries to box it all in quickly for discomfort does not suit our fight/flight instinct .
But this silence, for all its discomfort
Is the place to be
because as my gorgeous old Great-Aunty Fin used to say regarding my mother
“a person can’t learn anything if they don’t shut-up!”
So if you are, like me, are experiencing, grief or anything so intense
and be within the silence, the emptiness.
For only then does learning occur.