I am not ringing her. I think she is struggling right now.
I think my re-arrival via word and phone has thrown her inner peace into chaos.
This is not good for anyone, let alone a woman over seventy says RN Leesa!
Hence, I am leaving her alone.
No phone calls, no messaging, nothing.
I hope that it will give her the space to come to terms with;
I guess ‘me’, and figure out what she wants to do about contact with me and with the fact that I am a secret in her large and seemingly happily family.
Dear readers I am a truthful and often blunt person and I can be fiercely against secrets (see previous post) however;
I hate hate hate that that my contact has caused my natural mum this stress.
Until, or perhaps more precisely, if, she comes out of the closet…no not the gay one silly-billy, her secret closet…I will keep her secret completely.
I even thought I would just make myself disappear so she doesn’t have to deal with it at all but I just can’t.
My mum matters.