This birth mum Thing

My last post on this matter was written when I was in emotional pain. Despite its somewhat irrational nature it was still true to what I was feeling in that moment and to pretend I am always feeling mature about things would be horribly untrue. I don’t like untruths.

So I recovered from the pain. The fact is neither my birth mother nor my adopted mothers reactions have anything much to do with me. My adopted mothers issues were around the death of her own baby girl and I the unfortunate bunny who represented her loss. She’s passed over now. It is over.

My natural mum is struggling with her own issues that my appearing have caused and that seems to be around something that happened 53 years ago when I was a newborn. As such I don’t have to feel rejected. I am not responsible for others people suffering. It has taken me years to stop this automatic reaction of responsibility and guilt due to my earlier conditioning. Where it will go with birth mum I don’t know and I accept that. I expected to hear no more. But…

Yesterday I discovered birth mum told her daughter of my existence Friday night.

My half-sister called me yesterday. She was in shock but so warm. That morning she told her kids they had a new Aunty, her brother he had an elder sister and her uncle and…

She rang me.

She was still in shock.

I was stunned.

So two adult women had this confused, lovely, first conversation as sisters.

I’m stilled stunned.

And happy.

The acceptance she had of me as now part of her family was…was…

just brilliant šŸ™‚Ā lisa simpson



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