So the first thing princess YaYa is to remind ourselves of a few basic guidelines that create the foundation allowing us to move forward from a crappy emotional/mental place…in this case…being constantly scared that we are ‘not good enough’.
Call them guidelines call them rules call them The Ten Commandments of emotional/mental recovery; whatever we call them, they are essential to healing. Therefore, this post is about them…well actually only the first one as it is a big one and the hardest one so we need to face it right now I reckon.
(Now YaYa you are not silly, so therefore I may be telling you some stuff you already know, and if so SORRY. However, someone else might not know it and so I want to cover anyone who might read this.)
Okay….drum roll please … commandment one is:
- Feel the Pain.
Okay so a drum roll is usually for something good and this one, well it doesn’t seem so good but its outcome is I assure you. You have to be willing to feel emotional pain and keep feeling it until it is all out.
You HAVE too!
You and I have talked about running from pain. So many folks are avoiding their pain and in so much pain because of it. It just adds more pain on top of the original pain. That is a lot of pain!
People use drugs; legal and illegal, alcohol, sex, work, violence and all sorts of mental contortions to avoid feeling their deep emotional pain (whatever the cause of it) and it literally ruins their life if they do not change.
Emotional pain is like physical pus and it has to come out. ALL of IT! The pictures a bit scary hey! I picked it intentionally though for we cannot mince around about the importance of this and the fact that it bloody hurts.
So at this point clients say to me “well it’s not easy ya know”. And they are right!
Jobs get in the way, school gets in the way. People telling you ‘should be over it by now‘ get in the way. Doctors that want to put you on medication to help your pain get in the way.
No, it is not easy. But it is still essential and thus we must find the space.
So think about this YaYa. Think about the things you use to avoid the monster that is this feeling that you ‘not good enough’.
Think about if there is anything you need to do to create the space in order to truly deal with your emotional pus.
Next time we will talk about the way we think and the traps to avoid.
If you want to ask something or comment do so below and know, I speak to all who may be feeling they are not good enough.
Oh…ps…Some folks think if they start feeling their pain, if they start crying etc they will never stop…that somehow it will destroy them. This is simply not true. What will destroy us is keeping it in!