What words can I use to express the turmoil within? There are none.
There are just emotions on a ferris wheel in my mind and heart
Going round and round
One minute I am so excited I am going to meet the woman who carried me and gave birth to me.
The next I am terrified she’ll be disappointed in the person I am (an old, to recently silent, hang up of mine).
Suddenly my insides leap for joy
But fifty-three years of history overwhelms me
Then my learned self lectures me
And allo, we are back to excitement.
What a fascinating journey of delightful maddening exciting scary amazingness.
Wouldn’t be dead for quids :)!