What does each want out of this new discovery of relationship?
Of course I know what I want. I just don’t know what they want and is that one unsettling feeling or what! As they were leaving I so wanted to ask, where to from here, but at the last second all I could blurt out was something about catching up again. Crikey!
Did I mention I kept forgetting what I was talking about? Sober as a judge however every time I looked at them my mind/body reeled with the reality of what was going on and suddenly I would have no idea what I was saying. Fack!
I want to see if M and I can create a relationship that is positive for both us.
I want to see if my sister and I are able to enjoy each other’s company and even develop a sister bond (whatever the heck that is as I’ve never had one 🙂 ). Basically I want to ‘hang out’ and see how it goes. And I would love to know her kids…even be their Aunty if they’d let me. And I believe there could be others to know :).
I know nothing except the joy of them wanting to meet me and putting themselves seriously out to come and do so.
Oh and I know that my sister is a super busy women with a family of six and a demanding job and lots of family and dear friends and actually I thought she seemed seriously tired and needed a solid coach potato week with constant room service :). How do you fit in a sister who you’ve never known existed till now? How do you even feel about that?
And I know I liked them both very much.
Ladies and gentleman boys and girls, for anyone who’s interested
This adoption, finding birth family thingy is complicated.
I was once called a terrier. Not kindly. “Ya what?” asked I.
Apparently, when I wanted to solve issues I would not let go. I would not rest, I would not stop asking questions, I would not stop thinking, gnawing at the issue until I understood it.
Apparently that’s annoying for other people :). I get it.
So I have worked hard not to put that kind of pressure on others. Particularly in this case.
But you see she was right. I am a terrier. Not knowing drives me fucking insane!
My problem but arrrrggggg.