I wished she’d been my birth mum.
I think we would be good friends whether any maternal/daughter thing happened.
That’s what I hoped with my natural mum but it wasn’t to be.
She’s restrained, I’m blunt.
She hides things from others, I am what you see.
She doesn’t read…I do, copiously.
She doesn’t care about politics. I do
She does charitable services but condemns the lifestyle of the suffering. But by the grace of ‘something-a-rather’ go I.
Ultimately, she didn’t like me and I was put off by her restraint and social niceties that didn’t represent truth at the end of the day. But I got it. Sadly.
The natural mum’s best friend is different.
And I can’t say it to her
But I wish she’d been my mum as pathetic as that sounds from a 57-year-old because we would have been good friends I think.
But I cant say it to her.
So I’m saying it to Word Press
I’m not unhappy. Just…thinking, momentarily about something that’s a bit weighty…and writing through the process.
Leesa
Leesis Ponders 
I have the same condition with my mother. You are right to try to untie this knot in your mind because it has and will keep having a profound effect on your life until you get to the bottom of it. I am still getting to the truth of this condition and the deeper I go the scarier it gets.
thanks for your comment Sue. it is a weird thing but your right one has to keep trying to untie the knot for its a constant irritation whether you want it to be or not. Good luck on your journey xx